While OnlineBootyCall.com just celebrated 3 million members, eHarmony can claim that 236 members marry every day as a result of being matched on the site.
Some connect based on physical needs (yes, that would be the booty call folks), others based on a long list of compatibility questions. There's another group, though, those who connect as soulmates based on something less tangible!
Sound like a far-off fantasy?
According to one survey (1,003 Americans, age 20-29, for the Rutgers University's National Marriage Project) 94 percent want a soulmate for a spouse "first and foremost." And 87 percent of those believe they'll find a soulmate when they're ready to marry. Granted, hope soars high when we're young and not ready yet.
As we get older, our optimism can, for good reason, fade; but finding a soulmate isn't based on reason. You don't have to bet on the odds or the soulmate calculator that uses the latest data from the U.S. Census and the National Center for Health Statistics to calculate the number of singles you'd have to meet to find your soulmate.
Had I entered a preferred height in that calculator, I would not have found my soulmate. He's an inch taller than the maximum 6'2" I would have requested; and I suspect I stand a bit short of the height he would have specified! We don't know what a soulmate might look like … but by the time we're really ready for one, we know it doesn't matter.
Therein lies the challenge, getting ready is work (that we fear won't pay off). Many would rather play the lottery and take their chances on meeting the one. Others would settle for compatibility or merely commitment; others, knowing they're not ready for more, would answer a booty call.
But Arielle Ford, author of "The Soulmate Secret," wants me to tell you that a soulmate is a real option for you . "Big love is possible for any one of any age if you are willing to become a magnet for love," she says.
"Continue to live each day in the knowingness that you are in a loving, committed relationship as you savor the waiting for your beloved to arrive."
Sounds beautiful, right? But not easy … what does it even mean?
Ford says her book will show you how to take control of your romantic destiny by using the law of attraction. And she brought her own soulmate into her life at age 44. They were engaged three weeks later.
If you still dream of finding a partner who will know you and love you down to the core, you haven't really given up … and I believe you can nurture your hope into faith, for what you truly want, instead of what you have now.
"The ancient formula," says Ford, "Reveals that our universe is set up to deliver the people and things into our lives that are consistent with our personal belief system."
That means that whatever love you can believe for is on its way. It's easier to believe for what you know you're ready for. So, ask yourself what you have to do to prepare for your soulmate. If he or she were to ring the doorbell right now, what would you want to do before you answered it?
Not sure? Check out the techniques, rituals, and projects in "The Soulmate Secret" intended to help you prepare your home, body, mind and spirit for the love your heart truly desires.
Don't let what has kept you from love in the past keep you from it in the future. Learn from the past, and forgive it; don't live in it. Let go of the fear that kept you from believing for more. It grew from the mother of all fears that somehow you didn't have what it took. You do!
Let go of that one lie, and you can embrace a new belief system to manifest your foremost fantasy.
Jan Denise is a columnist, author of the just released "Innately Good: Dispelling the Myth That You're Not" and "Naked Relationships," speaker and consultant based in McIntosh, Fla.
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