Love over 40?

Here I am again... sitting thinking about my love life. Being single is cool for the most part. I am successful, spiritual and strong. I own a wonderful business, I get to fly all over the world, I have 2 great children but there is still a void. As Billy Dee said in Mahogany " Success is nothing without someone you love to share it with." You know that is true and it hits home HARD. I was in a relationship with my children's dad for many, many years, to be honest probably to long. I think I stayed long after God was finished with that, and thats real talk. So now I wonder where do I go? I have been dating Maxwell and he is so wonderful, but he lives and owns a business in another country. I have been seeing Ray who lives in the states but has a few issues, I'm feeling that this is not something long term, and there are other gentlemen that I may have dinner or conversations. The thing is that being over 40 I have no time to waste on childish, immature, needy, men. I want the love of a lifetime, someone who is as into me as I am him. Someone who loves me and only me( I mean no other women on the side ya'll)  Maybe I have to move out of the country...... Please tell me what you guys think, advise, help....


Chow for Now,
Frannie

Flowers and Kisses

I am tucked away for a couple of days, working on what could be my best campaign ever, my flight left this morning at 6:25 am.( Not happy about that) but I just needed to get here get settled, and ready to go. My blackberry rings and its Maxwell, his voice is low and enticing, and don't forget the Caribbean accent. "Hi ", he says.  Now for those of you who don't remember let me bring you up to speed quickly. I meet him in the Caribbean, about 2 years ago. He came to the states for me and his business and we had a wonderful, amazing courtship. He missed the sun, his culture and decides that we could be together if I moved. Let me see, no and hell no. I have a business, children and a home. I am not going to up root my children and life for no man UNLESS he is my husband. And then we would really have to discuss it. 


Well Maxwell and I have this unspeakable chemistry I cannot explain it, and he gives the best kisses ever  we talk via face time, Skype ,phone etc. It seems that we cannot let go of each other. So back to the call....

"Hey, how are you my friend," I said "I'm good, I am in the states for business. I thought I might see you. This trip came up quickly  and I call your office and they said that you were away for 3 days", he said sounding disappointed. " Well you know that sometimes my work means travel and lots of it, I am so sorry that I will miss you"... I am picturing him standing before me 6"5, carmel skin, brown,yes and a smile to DIE for. "Well, maybe next time", he says, "Yeah I will be out your way in March", I said trying to lift his spirits a bit. " Ok honey, call me when you can" We say bye and I hang up.

To be honest with you guys, I think I love this man and if it was another time and space we would so be together but it is what it is.  After arriving back to the hotel, tired, to much walking and a bit to much rum. I put my key in the door and tell my assistant I will see her  in the am. I walk in my room,  turn on the light and my room is full of flowers, flowers everywhere .. It is the most amazing thing that anyone has every done for me. I see a card on the table and it reads" There is nothing in this entire world that could keep me from a wonderful, brilliant ,courageous woman of quality like you" I am at a lost for words, I pick up the phone to call Sara, who I knew was acting funny and just like in the movies there is a knock at my door......


AHHHHH Maxwell:)

Thoughts on Men and Love By Michelle Mc Kinney Hammond

 I had the pleasure of meeting this WONDERFUL WOMAN a couple of years ago at a conference that I attended with my niece. My relationship was over, my business was booming but I felted so empty. After listening to her message I knew I had to met here. My company had back stage passes and this meeting changed my life and outlook on relationships.

Thoughts on Love & Men:

What does it profit a woman to gain a man and lose her soul! Ladies get a grip, a man should add to who you are, not make you over
If a man leaves your life he should leave you a better woman than he found you. That way it’s his loss & not yours. Always maintain.

A man should never be able to rearrange your identity, posture or attitude. Know your worth and don't discount

yourself for anyone.

When a man tells u who he is believe him & make your choices accordingly. Don't blame him 4 being consistent. Blame yourself 4 not listening

If a man decides he doesn't want u it has less to do with u & more to do with who he is or isn't. Thank him 4 not blocking yr view.

There is never an excuse for jumping out of character and acting ugly unless that is who you really are. Maintain dignity.

When the audience stops applauding & enabling bad behavior actors will have to find a new way to make a scene.

If marriage & coupling up are the goal you will always choose the wrong partner. The person should inspire the purpose in your life

A cloth in the store doesn't change its pattern because its been mishandled and put back. Be who you are no matter what! Say Next!

Stop abdicating responsibility for yourself & blaming men for bad behavior. It gives them way more power than they really have.

We need to love the brothers but keep the power to be who we are. After all that is what attracted him in the 1st place.

Just remember a man will only do what he is allowed to do. Don't blame or complain, handle your business.

When a woman knows her worth & power quietly living it, the man in her life will rise to the occasion & honor her. You set the stage.

Men get a bad rap. They are not bad, just confused. Lets stop sending mixed signals & be clear about what we want/need from them.

Don't tell a man you can deal with his cheating and then get mad when he does it. You gave him permission! Think before you agree!

Desperation for love should never make you compromise your standards. Your needs will come back 2 haunt you. Keep it real and be honest about what you want for both your sakes.
Above all things, no matter how the relationship goes... Be A Lady!

Just Flow with It

Most of you know by now that I work in marketing/ adverting. I love my job, let me say that right off the bat, but Fabulously Full Figured is my passion. I love clothes, shoes, hair, nails anything GIRL. Working with the companies that I have been blessed to work with over the years has opened my eyes to lots of things. There are so many beautiful people in this world and we come in all shapes and sizes. I happen to be 5"11 and full figured( loving it). But I have to tell you that I am about my health. I think that we as a society put to much emphasis on being thin and not enough on being healthy. I exercise everyday except for Sundays, I eat good food, and guess what I am still full figured. My body has changed, it is firmer in the right places, my clothes are smaller, however I am still full figured!  Stop comparing yourself to other people, you are a beautifully wonderful, beautiful human being! You can be a size 2 and be  unhealthy. Please yourself and if they don't love you as a 22, then they are not worth loving when you are a 12! Love and honor who you are and what you have,because there is only one you!

Chow for Now!
Fran

Back from vacation

I am so happy to be home( and now I need another vacation)! I have been traveling all over the Caribbean, we went to Jamaica, St Lucia and Barbados. We had a wonderful time just chilling and relaxing. Because of what I do I am always scouting for my clients, FFW. When we went to St. Lucia not only was it beautiful but there were some of the most beautiful plus size women in the world, as well as the men that love them. We stayed at the Jade Mountain resort, and as amazed as I was with the beauty of the resort, I was more amazed by the plus size women who carried themselves with respect , honor and pure fabulousness! One of the gentlemen told me" Women like you are considered a Jewel".. Yes we are, love yourself and be proud of who you are.


Chow for Now,


Fran

Who I am!

I have had a really trying couple of weeks. The ex came back(because of my birthday ) he thought that it would be the perfect time to get my in a soft spot... A year older...
But this year my birthday was different, I wasn't feeling sorry for myself, I had a clear cut mirror image of who I am.

I know now that I am a hot, self assured, independent, worthy fabulous woman. A woman who is spiritual and knowledgeable about what she wants. A woman who is a wonderful mother,lover, friend, confidant,a go getter,and last but not least a child of God in whom he is well pleased.

Why in the world would I take less then what I have to give?

Take the time to appreciate who you are because if you don't who will.

Bye Bye EX... Maybe next lifetime.

The New Guy

As you very well may know by now I am on a quest for my true love.(Romantic I am) So I have been on some dating sights, I know that my partner is not here in KC because the men here are way to narrow minded. With that said I decided to look further and there was John... I nice, tall, handsome well dressed man from Arkansas.

He winked me, I winked back, we email for awhile and the the phone calls started, this guy is a true gentleman. Now as a rule of thumb I don't do alot of phone calls with this online dating thing because from experience that is all some men want to do, but how to handle this one since he is in another state??

John is different, he is a spiritual man(which is a must for me) he is a hard working man( which is another must) and he is a family man! Bingo!!!! We have a long wonderful talks on the phone, exchanged a few more pictures and plan to met this weekend.

I will let you know how it goes.. Wish me luck:)

Chow for now!

Gratitude is the way!

Every morning when I awake, I look up at my ceiling and I give thanks. I then start to name off all the things in my life I am thankful for, my home, my children, my friends, my health, and the list just goes on. By the time that I touch the floor, my mood is elevated and I realize that my life is wonderful just as it is now. There is an old saying that if you go into a room full of people and you lay your problems down and compare then to the problems of others you will pick yours back and leave with them.

When you give thanks for the things that you have in your life right now, you open the way for God to give you more.I have even began to write down 5 things a night that I am thankful for that happen to me that day, so I go to sleep feeling thankful. Open your mouth, give praise and change your life!

I am having a moment

Workout, meetings, phone calls, lunch, busy, busy , busy.Today I haven't really even had time to breathe however my 13 year itch has had time to creep in. How do you stop the memories of someone that you have loved as long as you can remember?

Sometimes there's pain, sometimes there's laughter, but I truly miss him. I have so many wonderful things in my life,good family, good friends, I own a wonderful business but my love life is in the pitts..... Can we not be successful and have love? Do we compromise ourselves because we get so busy that we over compensate? What is it, where is the balance?

Why do I always seem to drift back to the memories of someone that I allowed to hurt me so badly? Because it's comfortable? I pray for guidance Lord.


Chow for now....

Date Night Part 1

Every Saturday night I go out on a date with someone I have met at a function, or online because as you very well may know I am in search of my husband, my life partner. Well in doing this I have a few rules that I follow we must meet in a very public place, if there is no connection I don't waste their time or mine and if anything about SEX comes up on the first date I am done.

This Saturday was different... I had a date with James. James & I have been conversing for 2 weeks we met via Eharmony which I think is one of the more serious online dating web sites. We agreed to me at a nice sushi bar on the South Side, he was nice enough on the phone but as you may know blind dates are always a bit scary. James was there first and of course I was fashionable late. We both agreed to dress causal so I wore some nice fitting jeans and a hugging sleeveless back shirt & some 3 inch Nine West sandals( since he was suppose to be 6"5 I figured he could handle that)and I pulled my hair back because it was hot as heck and not style is good in this humidity! James was sitting at the bar, I knew who he was because he looked just like the pictures he posted, I walked over and he stood up and said" Hi Fran" I have to tell you that my mouth hit the floor, this man was every bit of 6"5, beautiful mocha skin, wonderful eyes and a beautiful smile( all the teeth where present... YEAH) and the night began...

Rejection or Blessings?

Sometimes in relationships we tend to blame ourselves, we think" What did I do wrong, why doesn't he want me?" We pray to God and we ask for that man because we feel he is the one and that if I just had him I would be complete, we even (I even)bring Gods word into it,"You said Lord that you would give me the desire of my heart,I know that you word is true so I am standing on them". Of course God's word is true so he gives you a glimpse of what life would be like with this man,he brings him back into your life and not much has changed with him, but you have changed. The person that you were the last time he walked out your life you are no longer.


If someone walks out your life let them go,God just may be preparing the way for your real blessing, the catch is that you have to have enough faith, enough self worth the realize that you deserve only the best. So what you may see as rejection just may be God's blessing.

Chow for Now

Mean Sleep

I have been in the house all day doing research, reading, thinking... I often wonder what it was in me that made me stay for 14 years of off and on commitment? Why would I give myself to someone who was not available, physically, emotionally, period? Today I think I know why because we hold on for the change the change that we think we can create, the change that we think we can create in another person and we clearly cannot, the need to have it our way. Man when you wake up from that mean sleep and finally realize that there is nothing that you can do to change another you can only change you, when you began to work on you, thing began to work for you.


It hurts coming back to life!

Happy Independence !

It is Friday and I am dateless... I am wondering if I am dateless by choice? I have been doing eHarmony with no luck, do you think that the commercials are fake? :) I am feeling a bit down because I am at a place where I want someone to spend time with but I am not willing to settle anymore, that is what got me in trouble in the first place, so now I must be P (patience) I don't like the word, so when you see that P that is what it means. I am going to do something different this weekend. I am going to go out, answer some of the emails on eHarmony and see what happens. God in heaven knows my desires, I just need to make sure they are the right ones:)

P.S. I didn't call or text him on his birthday, I am proud of me. Progress

Happy Birthday( Not)

Today has been a truly different day, it is he birthday of David ( the names have been changed to protect the not s innocent). For the first time in 14 years at 12:01am I didn't call or text, it feels pretty good. But Robert was at my house today washing clothes and getting my trash together in an attempt to stay in my life. Now I have prayed for guidance about this because we share a child and it is hard for me to say stay away, he is truly not a bad guy, he is just one that can't seem to keep a job, drinks too much and has no since of real responsibility, although in the past 3 years I have seen a slight change. But how much is to much? Are you here for the child, me or yourself? Clearing out the clutter in your life is essential in opening the door for right relations. I know that God is Not going to send my perfect partner in the mess of the mess. I am still working to be free.

Hi There

Hey All,

My Name is Frannie and after much thought and pushing I thought I would share my journey to find true love with you. I am over 40 and for the last 13 years of my life I have been dating 2 men... Yes you heard me 2!!!!!! I am 5"11 and full figured and it took 35 years, lots of prayer and time with God, time loving me to truly like me and know that I desire that best. You see alot of us Full Figured sistas suffer from low self esteem, because for years all we seem was the stick thin women and every role model that we would get would eventually become thin as well. Now I want to be clear about somethings, I am in now way, shape, form or fashion promoting bad health. I work out 5 times a week and pretty much eat healthy, however I will never be a size 2 and I don't want to. I now embrace who I am and now that I love me, I am on the journey to find my perfect partner...... This will be fun... Stay Tuned!